"Identifying the rich used to be fairly simple: They dressed, talked, and looked a certain way," says the WSJ Wealth Report.
The Season is upon us. More charity balls. More Hummers, limos, and convertibles on I-95. A flurry of emails, phone calls, and invites-- all announcing, "We've arrived." While it may no longer be easy to identify the rich, it's still rather amusing to identify the snowbirds. Who is here? Who are they? Why are they here? And what is being offered?
It's the South Florida brand of Vacation Mentality. A slew of the populace from all over the country is making its annual migration to the Sunshine State. Get off the road and move out of the way. They're here and they want you to know it.
Many live in upscale gated communities. This is where the competition begins. How to compete against your neighbor and be recognized. The fastest way? Through how much you are willing to invest either in building the biggest manse, contributing to charity, playing the best golf/tennis/bridge, or quite simply, announcing it through style.
Style starts with "bling." If you are upscale, "bling" is de rigeur. Maybe you are reluctant to wear the original. It's not a great beach party if you have to spend it searching for the priceless anklet you lost by the bar. . Of course, you may choose travel jewelry which means that you can purchase it at the closest upscale flea market and parade it on your fingers, arms, ears, and ankle as if it formerly belonged to royalty. Worth Avenue can give you lots of ideas.
Youth is important. Snowbirds are not expected to age. So many engage in redefining themselves either during the off season(summertime) or by fits and starts in the wintertime. Women are adding long hair, face lifts(beware the wind tunnel look), and breast, tummy, thigh, knee, and buttock renovation. This often corresponds to their homes. If they have not purchased a brand new home, then renovation is clearly in order. Kitchens are often renovated, admired, and as a result, stoves are never turned on. Who entertains when you can either dine at the club or go to restaurants?
And everybody is smiling, often frozen or artificial. The smile has to be blinding in order to appear in the society magazines. So does the cleavage. It's all part of forgetting your past and having a good time.
The natives do not often wear shorts in restaurants in the evenings. A true snowbird male feels like an object of respect and admiration if he sails into an upscale restaurant wearing Bermuda shorts, no socks, sandals, and an open breezy shirt, despite the dress code. "I'm just off my yacht, mate" is the message. Male snowbirds often adopt a slick attitude and beady eyed leer towards the locals, as if one was desperately seeking someone from NJ to run away with for a long lost weekend.
Dogs are important. Many society dogs take the place of the spouse or children. Remember Leona Helmsley? All went to her dogs and nothing to her grandchildren. The dog must be purebred, preferably a Yorkie, no Chow mixes or St. Bernards. Many of these tiny beasts sport rhinestone collars and a wardrobe. They're often in strollers at the beach being pushed by their proud owners. They decorate holiday cards and are often entered in hometown competitions. The dogs look confused, scared, and manic. The vets are delighted. It builds great business and they can even provide psychiatric drugs and dental services for the little pets. Such is the life of a snowbird dog.
It just makes the world more fun.
